Whores Are Experts Too

Glenn Greenwald rips David Brooks to shreds for writing this:

What I’m really annoyed by, though, is the withdrawal of Tom Daschle. What are we, a nation of virgins? . . .

Of course, Obama asked for all this with his cynical promise to ban lobbyists from his administration. There’s a word for lobbyists: experts. Some are sleazy and many are quite admirable, but the idea of trying to run Washington without them is absurd.

Glenn responds by describing lobbying as bribery:

The fact that these so-called "experts" are paid by the wealthiest corporate factions to ensure that the laws Congress passes are designed to serve their narrow, insular interests -- and that this is accomplished by pouring money into the coffers of the very people who write the laws so that they're writing the laws that serve these interests -- never makes it into Brooks' understanding of this process.  Thus, he is baffled that anyone would find lobbyist-domination of our political process to be at all objectionable. 

Glenn is offfended by the raw cynicism that worships lobbying bribery. But Glenn misses something more important - lobbying bribery is not a victimless crime.

At a minimum, special interest items - whether spending earmarks or special tax breaks - transfer money from taxpayers to those rich enough to hire lobbyists. When such transfers serve no public purpose, it's nothing more than theft.

But usually special interest items have vastly greater costs. Lobbyists who block enforcement of food safety rules allow salmonella outbreaks to kill people by the dozens. Similarly, lobbyists who block enforcement of banking rules allow banks to create massive financial bubbles that burst, wipe out the jobs and savings of millions, and cause global recessions depressions.

The costs of lobbying bribery are so immense that even Greenwald can't see them!

The #1 problem in Washington DC is that bribery is 99.99% legal, thanks to the post-Watergate campaign finance "reforms" that created PACs and registered lobbyists. When Nixon's bag men at "CREEP" took cash in brown paper bags, everyone knew it made Nixon a "crook" - even if Nixon insisted otherwise. But when that same cash is delivered as numbers on fancy corporate check stationery to registered PACs with nice names and offices, everyone thinks it's simple, honorable "business."

The Founding Fathers hated such "business" so thoroughly they placed it just behind treason as grounds for impeaching a President:

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

What America needs more than anything else is a legal definition of "bribery" that reflects the "original intent" of the Founders - paying money to an elected or appointed official to get a special benefit, regardless of whether it goes into his pocket or his campaign. It should not require a freezer full of cash (like William Jefferson) or a fee-for-service list (like Duke Cunningham) to trigger a bribery investigation.

But lobbying bribery aside, the simplest response to Brooks and his worship of "experts" is to point out that whores are "experts" too. Does Brooks worship whores? If so, he should quit punditry and try to make an honest living in the private sector, just like Eliot Spitzer.