Republicans

Dick Cheney and his Torture Team are desperately trying to blame Nancy Pelosi for approving torture, even though - or is it because? - they kept her in the dark at the one briefing they gave her on 9/4/02.

But their vicious smear campaign might backfire "Big Time," as Cheney likes to say. That's because of growing evidence it was Republicans - not Democrats - who were told about Torture and approved it, either explicitly or implicitly. As Marcy Wheeler notes:

As David Waldman observes, Republicans like John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzales believe Torture is essential to "protecting" America. As Gonzales said about the techniques described in the Torture Memos,

They may be necessary in the future. And by disclosing it, means you take them off the table and they can never be used again.

And if Republicans return to power, they will once again bend or break laws so they can Torture again:

Here's another way to analyze the bizarre behavior of the GOP: it is slowly working its way through Elizabeth Kübler-Ross's famous 5 Stages of Dying:

Stage
1) Denial	Many in the GOP think the party's only problem is failing to be conservative enough. They said "good riddance" to Arlen Specter and wish Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins, and want the few remaining moderate conservative Republicans would join them. Karl Rove, who has absolutely no doubts about GOP prospects, is still their guru. Some (the "Birthers") even refuse to accept the fact that Barack Obama won the election. They continue to battle in court for the original copy of Obama's birth certificate, hoping the courts will declare the Presidency vacant.
2) Anger	Roughly 350,000 Republicans went to tax day teaparties to express their raw, unintelligible anger. A few have grabbed their guns and murdered cops - and themselves.
3) Bargaining	The most influential Republicans (Jeb Bush, John McCain, etc.) are trying to "bargain" with the country that has rejected them through town halls organized by the newly-formed "National Council for a New America."
4) Depression	Bill Kristol has been depressed since Election Day, and he's not getting any better.
5) Acceptance	A very few sane Republicans accept the death of the GOP, including FOX's Shepard Smith and Juan Williams.

We could eliminate the national debt and transform Congress if we adopted an Idiocy Tax: when a Representative says something completely idiotic and fact-inverted, make every constituent pay a $10 tax.

How many times would Michelle Bachmann's constituents pay $10 before replacing her with someone who has a functioning brain?

To help the GOP "rebrand" and start anew, Kos designed the "Goposaur":

It's looking back, to the past, refusing to evolve with the times as it longingly dreams of the days when only good, white, god-fearing dinosaurs roamed the earth and those multi-hued and highly evolved mammals weren't taking over the place and turning it into a socialist same-sex utopia with reeducation camps and 100% taxes. It's also ready to "go Galt", which apparently is a euphemism for quitting work and starving to death, thus negating the need for the giant asteroid. Their brains are the size of peanuts, after all.

Great work! But Dinosaurs are facts, which is far more than can be said about Republican "ideas." So here's my Republican "rebranding" - let's call it the Raelian Party:

Raëlians believe that Vorilhon, who is known by the movement as Raël, received special knowledge and instruction for mankind from the creators of life on Earth, human-like extraterrestrials called Elohim whose technology enabled them to appear as "angels" or "gods" in the eyes of ancient people.

And the swastika at the heart of their logo is the heart of their ideology.

Arlen Specter's switch is the first sign of a real and lasting division between "moderate" Republicans and the conservative movement that elected them and gave them power for a generation.

These "moderate" Republicans are not liberals. Most call themselves "conservatives." Their ranks include Specter, Olympia Snowe, Richard Lugar, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Their spokesmen include David Brooks, David Frum, Daniel Larison, and Michael Smerconish.

When there is just 1 Republican left in Congress, it will be Michelle Bachmann.

United comes before States. (h/t Josh)

Chris Matthews smacked Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) for using the idiotic rightwing phrase "Democrat Party." Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) tweaked Issa by saying "Republicanistical Party," but it would be much simpler for Democrats (and pundits) to just ask Republicans if they belong to the "Republic Party"?

Can Bobby Jindal ever live down his association with 30 Rock character Kenneth the Page?