Dick Cheney’s Top 10 Excuses For Shooting Fellow Hunter
From the home office in blue-state New York, here’s Vice President Dick Cheney’s top 10 excuses for shooting fellow hunter Harry Whittington on Saturday:
10. Sick and tired of Whittington’s “Hey, I’m having a heart attack” jokes
9. Pushed over edge by Dixie Chicks and Streisand blasting on pick-up truck stereo
8. Ongoing dispute over whether it’s acceptable to torture quail before shooting them
7. Thought he saw Michael Moore on other side of tree line
6. Bombed out of his gourd on Wild Turkey and Lone Star Beer
5. Companion’s ill-advised decision to wear Moveon.org sweatshirt
4. Was trying to impress Jodie Foster
3. Whittington’s repeated ribbing that Bush is actually the “real president”
2. Targeting scope on rifle made by Halliburton
And the number one excuse given by Dick Cheney for almost blowing away hunting companion Harry Whittington…
1. Because he’s a wartime vice president, damn it
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This simply must go to Letterman!
That is too funny! I had to hold my side from the laughter! Number 4 and 6 are absolutely hysterical!
Great Work!
"The first casualty when war comes is truth."
More Excuses
Whittington learned that his cell phone had been tapped by NSA.
Cheney learned that Whittington preferred sleeping with Gov. Perry over him.
Cheney learned that the bear in Libby's book was based on Whittington rather than him.
Cheney was overheard talking to Mrs. Whittington at the hospital, "Honey, I AM a better shot than that, I can do better, give me another chance."
"The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all."
Cheney saw a copy of Lynne's
Cheney saw a copy of Lynne's bodice-ripper on Whittington's nightstand.
He swears Whittington was carrying Niger uranium in his gear...
If Dead Eye Dick had not had
If Dead Eye Dick had not had other priorities he would have gotten fire arms training in the military. Do you think the NRA will ask him to turn in his membership card or just take hunting lessons. Bottom line -- the man with the gun is suppose to know what he is shooting at before he pulls the tigger. We know that Cheney has a habit of shooting from the hip. If Whittingham had been killed outright do you think there would have been a "cover-up" on a remote spot on the Armstrong Ranch.
No Invitation to hunt in Crawford, TX
You can bet Dick Cheney won't be invited to hunt in Crawford, TX.
To me the permit thing is
To me the permit thing is funny, better than all the good jokes. Is Texas really going to charge him for $7?