Web Humor Source
When you find yourself with a few moments to spare, there is an excellent source of humor (and education) available for free on the Internet.
Just go to the CBS, ABC, or NBC news sites and read the "Reader's Comments" to almost any news item dealing with the economic crisis, politics, or specifically President Obama and his administration. Although saner heads seem to prevail, the comical responses by those whose ancestry comes from the shallow end of the gene pool (Rush "dittohead" right-wingers) are highly entertaining.
Aside from the fact that most of them can't spell, don't have a clue as to the use of basic grammar, nor have the ability to string two coherent sentences together, they are indeed passionate in their own Rush-inspired way. It is apparent that many of them come straight from Free Republic, after having been gently guided by that hate-filled nest of holier-than-thou malcontents (Rush's audience) to respond to a particular article.
The common theme of these amusing responses (rather than intelligently arguing a particular point) centers around: the authenticity of President Obama's Hawaii birth certificate, his ties to the Muslim religion and fanatical Islam, his past (and continuing) associations with "terrorists," and his "secret" ambitions towards Socialism. These gems of Caribou Barbie wisdom are also sprinkled with the standard attacks on "anti-American" Liberals in general.
What is different, however, from just a few months ago, is the high number of Liberal and moderate Conservative Americans who are calling these easily misled bumpkins out, and exposing them for what they really are: racists, rednecks, bigots, and faux-religious extremists. Fortunately, they are slowly disappearing as a political force, as their children and others are being exposed to the real world of failed Republican neoconservative greed and moral corruption.
The Middle American pendulum is swinging back in the direction of sanity, and we're all better off as a result. Those misinformed and misled wingnuts, however, who are trying to stop the pendulum are a great source of humor, in a quixotically poignant kind of way.
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Very nice Bill.
Thanks for your thoughts, and for the new source of humor.
On AOL, you can be assured insanity in the forums whenever they publish anything about Astronomy.
It usually goes:
1) Damned Liberals with their science.
2) They don't know shit about phenomenon X.
3) Liberals ruined the Economy.
4) Obama slur.
The latest I saw was of a guy claiming that ole chestnut:
-If we evolved from apes then how come apes are still around. (Ending of course with a million exclamation points).
Funny how my ancestors came from Europe, and yet I've heard there are still a few Europeans around ;)
Actually, we evolved from
Actually, we evolved from one-celled critters, and they are still around too. Ain't that the damdest thing?
Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but no one can count the apples in a seed.
-Source unknown
I know I evolved from a one celled critter.
My Mom told me it took 9 months ;)
My Mom told me the same
My Mom told me the same thing, only she would look disdainfully at my Dad, and say, "It took 9 months, and 2 minutes."
LOL!
I was looking for a "mailman" in there and you hit me with the "2 minutes"!
Slumdog Governor
Moderator Michael Steele
sits in the chair on the right, facing Governor Bobby Jindal, who
sits in the chair on the left. The two men lean forward.
Steele: And now,
Governor, it's down to our final question! Here is the situation:
Banks are losing
billions of dollars because homeowners are unable to make their
mortgage payments.
The Big 3 automakers
are losing billions of dollars, partly because they have to pay
enormous amounts of health insurance premiums for their employees
and their retirees.
The country is paying
billions of dollars to foreign countries for crude oil.
And the question is, “How
should we solve these problems?”
Here are your choices:
Refinance mortgages
at lower interest rates.
Initiate a universal,
national health care system.
Subsidize research
into alternative fuel sources, mass transit systems, and
infrastructure improvements.
Cut taxes.
And what is your answer,
Governor? A, B, C, or D?
Would you like to phone a
friend?
Jindal: I don't need to
call anyone. The answer is easy. It's D--Cut taxes!!!
DING DING DING DING
Steele: THAT'S RIGHT!!
D ---- CUT TAXES !!!!
Congratulations,
Governor! You are our big winner! You get to give the Republican
Party's response to the presidential address to Congress!!!!!!!
And what now, Governor?
Jindal: I'M GOING TO
DISNEY WORLD !!!!!
Republicans know only how to RAISE taxes.
They scream their "raise taxes" mantra whenever Democrats LOWER taxes on the working majority by asking the leisure class to pay for the military defense of that portion of this Nation which they OWN (and therefore need defending).
Jim
Sessions With the Taliban
News Correspondent: I'm
here in Afghanistan, where American troops have just captured a group
of Taliban terrorists.
[A group of handcuffed men
walk past the camera. They are all in their 20's, with long hair,
full beards, and Afghan clothes—except for one man. That man is
middle-aged, clean-shaved, with short, gray hair, and a business suit
and tie.]
News Correspondent: Wait
a minute—one of these men is different!
[The news correspondent
walks up to the middle-aged man and points the microphone at him.]
News Correspondent:
Excuse me, sir. Are you the leader of this Taliban terrorist group?
Sessions: No, I'm not a
terrorist. I'm a Republican congressman from Texas.
News Correspondent: Why
are you here with the Taliban?
Sessions: I'm on a
fact-finding mission.
News Correspondent: What
kind of facts are you getting?
Sessions: Insurgency
techniques. Insurgency is a mindset and an attitude that we're going
to have to search for and find ways to get our message out.
Systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person's
entire processes.
News Correspondent: What
is your message?
Sessions: LIVE, FROM NEW
YORK—IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT !!!
Improving America's Image Around the World
Iraqi #1: Get your rifle. Let's go and fight
against George W. Bush!
Iraqi #2: Wait a minute. Bush isn't the president
anymore. The Americans just elected a new president.
Iraqi #1: Is the new
president another Bush?
Iraqi #2: No, his name is
Barack Hussein Obama.
Iraqi #1: You say that
the new American president is an Arab?
Iraqi #2: No, he is not
an Arab. He is black. His father was an African.
Iraqi #1: Does he want to
continue Bush's war in Iraq?
Iraqi #2: No. He wants
to remove the American troops from Iraq.
Iraqi #1: Put down your
rifle. Let's listen to this new American president, and let's see
what he does.